Dirty Secrets
by ColourVegan
Summary: A collection of unrelated drabbles featuring unusual Sakura pairings.
1. Contaminated by Association : IruSaku

**Title: **Contaminated by association

**Fandom: **Naruto

**Pairing:** Irusaku

**Rating:** R

**Summery:** Iruka is fighting naughty fantasies of pink haired kunoichi while doing his best to keep the mini-ninja's from killing him.

**Author's Note:** Written for Pinkcrack Drabble-a-thon at the (pinkcrack lj-community).

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything – the Naruto 'verse is created by Kishimoto Masashi.

**- - -**

**Contaminated by association – Iruka/Sakura – R**

Iruka's imagination was distracting him from the shouts and various other noises of mayhem the bloodthirsty mini-ninja on the other side of his desk were making.

His desk...

"_Oh sensei! Please... Harder sensei..." _his overactive mind generated in a piercing female voice as he tried to concentrate on anything other than his desk and the unbidden images of that voice's owner draped over it – pink hair and flushed skin and...

Instinct shocked Iruka out of his daydream as he unconsciously reached out and stopped a kunai less than an inch from his scared face and sending it back to imbed itself in the wooden tabletop in front of its surprised owner.

The rest of his day passed in a relatively calm – calmly compared to most days dealing with the ferocious mini-ninja – without further embarrassing visions of ex-students too young to occupy his fantasies.

Yes, he grimly decided, he was spending too much time around that particular kunoichi and her perverted old Genin-sensei.

- - -

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	2. Of Waves and Land : EbisuSakura

**Title:** Of waves and land

**Fandom:** Naruto

**Pairing:** Ebisaku

**Rating:** PG-13

**Summary:** A drabble about the strangely well matched relationship between Sakura and Ebisu.

**Author's Note:** Written for Pinkcrack Drabble-a-thon at the (pinkcrack lj-community).

**Disclaimer:** Kishimoto Masashi is god and I'm just a nobody who owns nothing.

- - -

**Of waves and land – Ebisu/Sakura – PG-13**

They say he's a closet pervert, but she had her doubts – even proper and polite Iruka-sensei had nosebled when subjected to Naruto's infantile jutsu after all – and there was something about the dark clad Tokubetsu Jounin.

Sometimes she watched Ebisu-san as he herded about his Genin-team – the Konohamaru Corps were older now, less idealistic and perhaps more world aware – their growth reflected in their sensei's dark sunglasses as he sometimes scolded and sometimes praised them.

Sakura could watch Ebisu for hours as he fussed over his subordinates in the hospital when they got hurt during missions – for such a strict man he acted surprisingly much like a mother hen.

.

They say she's hung up on the traitorous Uchiha, but he's not so sure – as it is most children bear foolish crushes they grow out of as time progresses and they grow up – and there was something about the pink haired medic he couldn't quite put his finger on.

Sometimes he watched Sakura-san as she interacted with her old team-mates – they were not the same young ninja he remembered from so long ago – even The Fox-vessel had grown out of his childlike behaviour for the most part and their growth reflected in how their old Genin-sensei acted around them – as an equal rather than a teacher.

Ebisu could watch Sakura for hours as she fussed over his subordinates' wounds in the hospital when they got hurt during missions – for such a cheerful woman she was surprisingly structured when practicing her trade.

.

They didn't know what to say when Sakura and Ebisu started dating – he was acting just as proper and prudish as always, opening doors and pulling out chairs for the kunoichi, while she seemed to take great pleasure in seeing him blush and stutter as she took hold of the collar of his tactical vest and kissed him in public.

Sometimes, when the pair were observed in public, people wondered if the two somehow had completed each other – healing him from his closet perverseness and her from her doomed love of the Uchiha – but sometimes they questioned their initial theories because both acted too genuinely towards each other.

Sakura and Ebisu could talk for hours no matter the topic or location – yet he was more rigid than even Neji had been before his first Chuunin Exam and she was painfully nonchalant of procedure caring for people rather than tradition; for such an unmatched couple they were strangely well harmonised – like a wave repeatedly rolling onto land.

- - -

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**_an author can't grow without praise or constructive criticism._**


	3. Defender Without a Dictionary: IbikiSaku

**Title: **Defender without a dictionary

**Fandom: **Naruto

**Pairing:** Ibisaku

**Rating:** PG-13

**Summery:** Sakura-chan was making the biggest mistake of her life – of that Naruto was certain.

**Author's Note:** Written for Pinkcrack Drabble-a-thon at the (pinkcrack lj-community).

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything – the Naruto 'verse is created by Kishimoto Masashi.

**- - -**

**Defender without a dictionary – Ibiki/Sakura – PG-13**

Sakura-chan was making the biggest mistake of her life – a mistake of vast and colossal dimensions – of that Naruto was certain.

After overhearing the girls (sans Sakura) titter, tatter and giggle about it, when he was making his way over to Ichiraku Ramen to celebrate his return from a particularly long mission, the yellow haired shinobi had quickly changed course and was hurrying in the direction of his best friend and heart-sister's flat.

Ibiki wasn't a nice person – he wasn't even in the vicinity of the ballpark of nice people – he was in fact a sadistic psychopath and Naruto was certain his dear Sakura-chan wouldn't truly willingly marry someone like that.

Silently he wondered what she saw in _that_ man anyhow – a tortured soul most likely – women were weird like that. Naruto didn't know when he had switched from thinking "girls are weird" to "women are weird" – must have been around his twentieth birthday – but that was beside the point right now.

The point was Sakura-chan was making a mistake – a huge mistake of enormous proportions! Ibiki must be influencing her, he thought, making her think he was a tortured soul or something because his sweet Saku--

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto shouted to capture the pinkette's attention when he saw her walking down the street with a large cardboard box in her arms. "Sakura-chan!"

"Oh," the woman simply breathed when lowering the box to the ground and smiled warmly at her fellow ninja, "you're back."

"Yea," the reply came more calmly now that his friend's gaze rested on him, but the stillness didn't last long...

"I heard Ino say and then Tenten and Hinata added and then Kurenai said and--" the hurried rant didn't make much sense to anyone – not even Sakura who was so very used to the blond's longwinded and pointless rambles – this time, however, he did get to a point: "Why are you marrying Ibiki?"

"I'm what?!" the pink haired woman countered heatedly and glared at Naruto as if that would make it all better.

"So..." the blond concluded, and surprised his friend by getting it right instantly, "you're not marrying Ibiki?"

"Of course not," Sakura breathed angrily, "why would I want to marry that infuriating idiot of a man?"

As if on cue that "infuriating idiot of a man" showed up with a large cardboard box in his arms and looked down on the woman who had just insulted him.

"Your boxes won't move themselves you know," he said in his usual deep, dark tone, "and some of us got actual work to do today."

Sakura and Naruto stared at the man – the latter open mouthed and confused while the former glared hard and cold.

"And if you had a normal libido we could have finished moving them this morning," the woman shot back unabashed as she picked up her box and continued to glare at the older Jounin – completely missing Naruto's bewildered look.

"Stop complaining," Ibiki retorted evenly, "you enjoy my libido."

Sakura and Naruto stared at the man – the latter still open mouthed and confused while wondering what "libido" might mean and the former still hard and cold, but cheeks lightly pink now from a slight blush.

"That's completely beside the point," the kunoichi shot back as she walked past a still very puzzled Naruto and left behind an amused Ibiki who soon followed and fell into step with her as she finished, "some of us do have actual work today – I can't move in with you all day!"


	4. Conversationalists : ShikakuSaku

**Title:** Conversationalists

**Fandom:** Naruto

**Pairing:** ShikakuSaku

**Rating:** PG-13

**Summery:** They're both trying to escape something.

**Author's Note:** Written for Pinkcrack Drabble-a-thon at the (pinkcrack lj-community).

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything – the Naruto 'verse is created by Kishimoto Masashi.

- - -

**Conversationalists – Shikaku/Sakura – PG-13**

The first time they really talked – not just briefly like "son's former classmate" and "former classmate's father", but like two adult people, or even a man and a woman, just talking together – was the morning following her nineteenth birthday.

She had been angsty and alone – aimlessly walking Konoha's streets to clear her mind.

He had been sobering up on the way back to his ball and chain – shoulders slumped.

They had literally bumped into each other – not a small arms brushing or shoulders knocking, but a big almost frontal collision – he lost his balance momentarily and she would have fallen down if he hadn't caught hold of her arm.

There had been a slightly awkward moment then, when they had recognised each other and exchanged the common courtesies – the "hello"s and the "how do you do"s and the "fancy meeting you here"s – before the conversation took a new turn and they found a bench to sit down on.

They had talked together about whatever came to mind until the Academy sensei and the pre-Genin had all walked past to go to morning classes.

.

The second time they found themselves in a conversation – just the two of them – was six months later.

He was returning from working in the forest his clan was responsible for.

She was in a hurry to escape a lovestruck Lee who had decided that _now_ was a good time to start courting his Sakura_-chaaan_, the sweet cherry blossom of youthfulness, in earnest.

They had bumped into each other again – not as violently as last time, but enough for both to slow down in their tracks and exchange pleasantries before suggesting they share a cuppa at the quaint little tea shop at the nearby Maple Street.

He hadn't wanted to go back home just yet and she just wanted an excuse to turn Lee down without being too obvious.

They had talked about anything and everything before agreeing that it was pleasant to talk with one another and they they should do this more often.

When it was time to leave and go their separate ways she had surprised him by kissing his cheek nervously – he startled her by bending down and kissing her lips before slipping away in the shadows.

- - -

**_Thank you for reading! Please don't forget to comment -_**  
**_an author can't grow without praise or constructive criticism._**


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